The Responsibility of Freedom
by hbomba
Summary: Lauren learns a thing or two about freedom.


Title: The Responsibility of Freedom

Fandom: Lost Girl

Pairing: Bo/Lauren

Rating: M

Summary: Lauren learns a lesson or two about freedom.

"A hero is someone who understands the responsibility that comes with his freedom." -Bob Dylan

"Freedom lies in being bold." -Robert Frost

* * *

"That's all of it." The fat and sweaty man leaned back on his heels and held out a clipboard. "There's just the matter of payment and we'll be on our way."

Lauren looked over the charges before painstakingly writing a check to Finch & Sons Moving Company. It had been five years since Lauren had written a check. At the compound there were no bills, no rent to pay, just the lab and her quarters. That was all they tasked Lauren with worrying about. There was no spending cash because she was expected to remain on the premises. Truth was, Lauren had a shoebox of money she had hidden from the fae when she enlisted. It afforded her more freedom than they'd ever approve of, but it was important that she retain even just an iota of independence. With it she was able to buy rounds at the Dal for her friends and pizza for Kenzi when she showed up on Bo's doorstep at midnight on nights when security was lax.

Lauren scribbled her signature and tore the check out. She held it up, looking around at the boxes that surrounded them before handing it off to the man.

"Thank you, Miss." He nodded and backed out the open door.

Lauren sidestepped the boxes and walked to the windows across the room, looking out over the waterfront. The rest of the city didn't loom here. She sighed. She was free. There was neither elation nor dread, just relief.

The boxes were piled three-high in neat groupings along the wall and into the center of the room. Rain showered the skylight, the light still trickling through the dark in the dusky evening. Lauren looked up and watched the water bead down. Life was going to be different now. She walked to a box labeled "kitchen" and opened it. She began the laborious task of unpacking, finding homes for pots and pans she rarely used before sorting through another box to find a bottle of wine. She considered the bottle for a long moment. It was a good vintage, Lauren's favorite. "Hello, old friend."

She fished for a corkscrew in the same box and was relieved to find it. Sinking the wine key into the cork, she turned it down to the last loop and pulled. The cork came loose with a resounding pop and Lauren smiled. Looking over the boxes yet to be unpacked, she scrounged for a glass. The closest thing she could find without much effort, though, were sad little red plastic cups. Lauren shrugged. Who was she trying to impress? She poured the wine into the cup, filling it halfway and sipped it with more dignity than the plastic cup implied. She hummed, considering the black cherry and red current notes left on her tongue. Delicious. Another sip and the wine bloomed fully, its bouquet reminding her of times gone by, both good and bad.

She tired of cutlery, plates and mugs and moved to the bedroom where her bed stood bare. Finding sheets came easily and she had redressed the bed in minutes. Shaking out the duvet, Lauren laid it onto the crisp linens. She fluffed the pillows and tossed them against the white headboard. Looking at the finished product she felt herself beginning to tire. She dared not sit down, instead finding her cup of wine on the bedside table and sipping it again.

Another sip, another memory. This time it was the last time she had moved. She had returned from the Congo alone, Nadia held in stasis by the fae. Lauren collected her things, quit her job and uprooted her life in a matter of days before reporting to the compound for what would be the longest, craziest five years of her life. Not for nothing, she was given a chance with Nadia, albeit short and bittersweet and she had met Bo. Except her love for Bo had somehow eclipsed her love for Nadia without intention or ill will. Five years is a long time to put her own life in stasis, waiting on someone who might never wake up. It wasn't intentional, this love she and Bo had found together, but it was at the heart of why she was free. Bo had fought for her. Lachlan had taunted her during her four-day stay in the hellish catacombs. He would tell her about Bo bargaining for Lauren's life; her freedom with a sneer and in the same breath he'd crush any hope of that ever happening. In the end, they'd grown to have an understanding and it was Lachlan that had held up his end of the deal with Bo and she was free at last.

Lauren returned to the kitchen and poured another cup of wine, sipping it she began to acknowledge the squirmy-in-her-own-skin feeling that signaled inebriation. Another sip and her head began to swim. It was her first night on her own and she was drinking alone. But what did it matter? She was out of a job or any real direction in life, drinking alone seemed like the perfect accoutrement.

Bo. She was the reason for everything, for all of this. The past few years she had groomed Lauren for freedom and then it came. She had restored her faith in herself, made her feel pride again-in her work and in her private life. She had taught her never to bend to someone else's will. Bo carried a very obvious yet very serious chip on her shoulder and this had taught Lauren a few lessons on its own. Like: sometimes banging down the front door is the way to get the fight that you crave but it's no way to win a war.

Lauren yawned. She was warmed by the alcohol and comforted by these thoughts. A knock at the door roused her and she crossed the room, unlatching the deadbolt and pulling the door open. There stood Bo, all decked out in black and leather. Lauren could never tire of her unique style and beauty; she smiled.

"Hey," Bo said, her voice brimming with mirth.

"Come in," Lauren stepped back from the threshold to allow her to pass. "I wasn't expecting anyone until tomorrow."

"I couldn't wait." Bo leaned against the marble-topped breakfast bar in the kitchen and looked around. "Wow, Lauren, this place is…"

"Yeah," she smiled. They stood across from each other, sizing one another up. Lauren blinked. "Wine." Bo looked at her. "I mean, would you like some wine?"

"Sure," Bo said, confusion written across her face.

Lauren poured two cups and handed one to Bo. "What the vessel lacks in elegance the wine makes up for in complexity of flavor," she smiled.

Bo took a sip and her face lit up. "This is really good."

Lauren nodded and drank from her cup.

"Do I get the tour?"

"Of course." Lauren reached out and took Bo's hand in her own. It was a silly gesture, she was fully aware, but a necessary one. She felt like she was in a bubble, floating alongside the people she knew and loved but still very separate. In her freedom she had found an unwanted distance from loved ones. But what it came down to was that her role had changed, she had not.

Bo looked down at their hands and smiled, allowing herself to be led through the fifteen hundred square feet of condo. After she had shown Bo the potential library, the one and a half baths, the solarium, the balcony and the skylight, they were back at the kitchen.

"I noticed you didn't show me the bedroom…" Bo said.

There was what felt like an endless pause and then she spoke. "I didn't want it to be weird," Lauren shook her head and looked up at the skylight with a plaintive smile, "or expectant."

"Lauren." Bo reached out for her but Lauren kept her distance.

"Remember when you found out you were fae? How you felt?"

"Sure, I was terrified," Bo chuckled.

"But it made sense…"

"Yes." Bo nodded. "Lauren, what is this all about?"

Lauren tapped her fingers on the cup in her hands. "It's just a lot to get used to…freedom."

"But you're doing it." Bo was always trying to look on the bright side, an endearing quality on a good day. On a bad day, however, it was hard to take.

"If by doing it you mean getting on with my life, I'm not so sure." Lauren pushed a couple of abandoned mugs on the countertop around so they lined up with the others.

"Well this place is a good start, right?"

"I'm scared to death," Lauren admitted. She played with the corner of a cardboard box. "Everything has changed, except me, and I feel like I'm leaving behind everything that's become important to me."

"Hey," she said taking Lauren's hand in hers, "I'm not going anywhere."

Lauren smiled softly at Bo's reassurance. "I have an interview tomorrow."

"I'm sure you'll do great." Bo nodded.

"Thank you." She looked into her cup before looking up to meet Bo's eyes. "We should sit."

Lauren walked to the couch and began to move the boxes surrounding it. Working fast, her head began to spin. She surveyed the room, then and spotted a floor lamp in the corner. She laid a hand on a pile of boxes to steady herself before lifting lamp and placing it beside the couch. Searching for an outlet she plugged the lamp in and shed light on the darkened living room. Walking back to the kitchen Lauren poured the last of the bottle of wine into their cups and tugged Bo's hand to follow her back to the couch.

Bo sat across from Lauren and drank from her cup. "So a job interview-that's exciting."

"That's one word for it," she smiled. "It's just getting my story straight-the small matter of where I've been for the past five years."

"What will you tell them?"

"That I've been on sabbatical. My work in the Congo is still relevant." Bo nodded. "I guess I just didn't think that it would ever come to this. My plan-" she looked at the skylight and laughed ironically, "-there is no plan," she shook her head. "I plan everything."

It was true. For all her yearning to be free, she never fully conceived what it would be like. She felt ill-prepared for the biggest moment of her life. And yet this was everything she could have asked for: a beautiful woman sitting across from her, a spacious condo hovering above the city and the freedom to do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted. So why did Lauren feel so trapped by this fledgling freedom? She tipped her cup back and finished the wine, setting the cup aside.

"Planning is overrated," Bo gulped the rest of her wine down.

She expected that from Bo, queen of the run and gun offense. Still there was much to be learned from Bo's tactics, diving headlong into every fight and somehow coming out on top with her bottomless pride in tact was admirable. But that was Bo. Lauren was headstrong, too and she had every confidence in her abilities, but there was something about the interview process that made her doubt herself.

Her eyes averted when they met Bo's again. It was that awkward time of night. When the wine runs dry and the conversation idles, the desire still hanging in the air between them. Lauren looked at her hands as she so often did when the awkwardness came.

Bo lifted her chin. "Hey," she said.

Roused from her thoughts, Lauren smiled unconvincingly.

"Is it too much to hope that I'd get the rest of the tour now?"

Lauren seemed stuck, stalled out by the liquor and doubt. Recognizing this, Bo wet her lips and inched closer. She brushed the hair from Lauren's temple and kissed her cheek eliciting a sigh from Lauren.

"Show me," Bo whispered breathlessly.

Lauren took Bo's cup and set it aside as she stood in front of her. She pulled Bo from the couch easily and down to the door at the end of the hall. Bo encircled Lauren's waist as they stood in front of the bedroom door. Bo moved her hair aside and her mouth found that spot behind Lauren's ear that never failed to ignite a fire in her belly. She turned in Bo's arms and pressed her lips against Bo's. Soft and warm, her kiss captured her attention. Hastily, Lauren reached behind her and opened the door. As the door swung open, Bo broke from the kiss. There were boxes littering the bedroom as well but there was a path to the immaculately made bed.

"Are you sure you weren't expecting me?" Bo flashed her an irresistible smile.

There were twenty reasons she could say were the reason for her bedroom being in the state it was in, but Bo would see through them all. Truth was, she knew Bo would turn up tonight. She would have to be held captive to miss Lauren's first night of freedom. And thank god she wasn't because Lauren had plans, for her.

"What if I was? What then?" Lauren pinned her to the door jam.

"Oh ho," Bo laughed and pushed Lauren against the open door. She kissed her hard. A switch was flipped and Lauren was engaged, an unstoppable force. For all the doubt she had felt earlier, there was no doubting what she was doing now. She undressed Bo methodically as she backed her into the bedroom. Lauren pulled her own shirt over her head and threw it against the wall. The urgency was building and Lauren was in charge tonight. When Bo laid bare against the bed, Lauren stood in front of her and undressed. Her slow striptease had obviously enthralled Bo. She'd never dared to be so bold in the past but tonight was different. Lauren was free in every sense of the word.

She crawled over Bo, her breath warming Bo's cheek as she hovered by her mouth. A moment passed and Lauren snatched Bo's bottom lip with hers. A tender press of her lips followed. Her lips trailed across Bo's cheek to her ear.

"I'm so glad you're here," she whispered.

Bo's eyes fell closed and she smiled. Lauren took the opportunity to cover Bo's neck with kisses and across her collarbone. Bo's hands found her ass and pulled Lauren down on top of her. Lauren wagged a finger at Bo, who smiled eagerly.

It wasn't about trying to out-do Bo's past lovers, she was sure of that, but Lauren had something to prove nonetheless. She'd had a number of lovers prior to Nadia and Bo, always short relationships, if you could call them that, and Lauren never committed anything more than a toothbrush in her lover's bathroom. Nadia had pushed for more and Lauren did care for her more than the others so she tried monogamy. And then came Bo. She tried to resist her charms, albeit half-heartedly, before throwing herself in front of the commitment train again.

Lauren inched down Bo's body. Commitment had never felt like this. She wasn't being oppressed by rules. With Bo she never felt subjugated. Lauren knew that she was socially awkward but she also knew Bo loved that about her. She could truly be herself, rambling about chemical formulas and fae physiology at will and Bo would smile as she completed her oft chaotic thoughts.

Settling between Bo's legs she began a ritual she had enjoyed many times before. Bo gasped. God, did she ever love that sound. With each sweep of her tongue Bo's body grew taut. Lauren moved slow like honey, drawing her out. She tore at the duvet as Lauren slipped a finger between them.

Bo's hands found her hair and she held her there. A feverish pace was established as Bo's hips began to dance beneath Lauren's mouth. In a few moments, Bo would cry out, her head pressing back against the pillows and clutch at Lauren-her head, her hands, anything she could reach. Bo panted and whispered something Lauren could barely hear. And then it happened. She cried out, murmuring Lauren's name in that hoarse way that she did when she came.

Lauren stayed near, savoring every bit of her until she spoke again. "Shit, that was…" Bo trailed off, looking up at the ceiling, chest heaving. She propped herself up on her elbows and looked down at Lauren. "You're gonna get it." Bo smiled and sat up, reaching for her. Lauren redirected Bo's roaming hands to her sides. Lauren knelt beside her, proudly bare and empowered.

"What makes you think I'm done?" Lauren smirked as Bo's eyes grew bigger-sex was like Christmas to Bo, after all, and this year Christmas dinner was a feast.

* * *

Hours later she lay in Bo's arms, unable to sleep. The even meter of Bo's breath was like a love song. Enchanted, she couldn't take her attention away from the soft purr of sleep because when she did it was sheer terror. For all her sexual liberation, Lauren was still wary of the job interview that awaited her in-she looked at the clock-less than six hours. Lauren looked at the tangle of legs beneath the sheets. Bo's ice cold feet pressed against Lauren's leg, she smiled.

Growing antsy, Lauren carefully unthreaded herself from Bo and sat on the edge of the bed pensively. The bed moved when she stood, waking Bo. She was reaching for the door when Bo spoke. "What's up?"

Lauren turned. "Can't sleep," she smiled.

"I'll get up with you," Bo sat up.

"No," she started. "I mean, you don't have to."

Bo swung her legs out of bed and stood. Her hair was mussed and her body bare. She rubbed her eyes. Lauren took a moment to appreciate the sight in front of her before offering her a robe that hung on the back of the bedroom door. Lauren followed suit cinching up the belt on her own terry cloth robe.

In the kitchen, Bo watched her as she carried out the careful exercise of making coffee. She ground the beans noisily and poured the grounds into the glass pot. The teapot had boiled, but she waited precisely one minute and thirty seconds before pouring it over the grounds. It would be exactly four minutes before she plunged the pot and filled the mugs.

"So you gonna tell me what's got you starting your day four hours early?" Bo leaned against the island and sipped Lauren's incomparable cup of joe.

Lauren shrugged. "I guess you could say I'm nervous."

"What could you possibly have to be nervous about?" Bo brought the mug to her nose and inhaled before taking a sip.

"Imagine waking up in a city you've lived in for years and not knowing where the good pizza place was or a competent dry cleaner. To be standing on the street you live on and not know where it leads."

"I'll help you." Bo laid a hand on Lauren's arm. "We'll do this together."

"Are you going to come to my interview, too?" Lauren sighed, regretting her words as soon as they came out. "Bo, you can't protect me from everything."

"Lauren, you'll do fine. You've got this."

"What if I don't, Bo?"

"Then you dust yourself off and try again." It was that simple to Bo, but Lauren was still trying to choke back her own nightmarish anxiety. Bo set the mug down on the counter, careful to avoid the stack of plates, and stopped a few feet from her. "You've survived so much, Lauren," Bo said, stepping closer. Lauren watched Bo's eyes scour the fuzzy edge of her robe and she smiled. "I know you can handle an interview." Her fingers followed her eyes' path, pulling at the knot at Lauren's waist. "You'll be talking about science-y stuff," she said as she pulled the knot apart. "They'll probably have to shut you up."

Lauren chuckled and set the cup of coffee next to her. She rested her hands on Bo's waist and smiled. She was free. Lauren was learning another lesson from Bo. You're only as free as you let yourself be and Lauren had been holding herself back for far too long. She smoothed the back of her hand over Bo's cheek.

"Such a romantic."

Bo pushed Lauren's robe off her shoulders. "I'm better at-" Her excuse was cut off by Lauren's mouth, her lips touching Bo's gently.

"Shut up and take me back to bed."

* * *

FIN


End file.
